Ghostbusting Google Analytics

… And exhausted to tears, surrounded by empty vials of holy water, bags that once contained salt, discarded iron bars and the burned bones of vitaly, who no longer ruled Google, the web developer finally sealed the gateway to the beyond, banishing the ghosts from Google Analytics stats forever.

I wish. That would have been a lot more fun and made for a better story.

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Ghost Spam: a Horror Story, with Graphs

The web developer paused at the threshold of the WordPress admin pages. The dashboard was clean and well-organized; there were no ominous sounds, no foreshadowing of what lurked in the Google Analytics summary until she saw, out of the corner of her eye, the stat for the site’s top page:

The Top Referrers suddenly flew out at her: free-share-buttons, Get-Free-Traffic-Now, free-social-buttons, buy-cheap-online and guardlink. She tried to scream, but something cold and slimy wrapped around her throat as vitaly rules google taunted her from Top Searches.

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